McDonald's special buffet plans leaked
CEO Ron Stinkler of McDonald’s said, “I’m not going to confirm or deny rumors regarding this issue. If customers want something like this, then they will let us know.”
Competitor franchises fear that the buffet move may force them out of business.
“As prices stand right now, even a buffet at as low as seven dollars per person could potentially draw enough business away from us to drive us into financial hardship,” local Hardee’s franchise owner Bob Foster said.
The buffet rumor has also alarmed federal departments as well ranging from the FDA to the National Health organization.
“Such a plan will cripple the health of this nation and plunge us into an ever widening circle of obesity,” National Health spokes-woman Pamela Jungwirth said.
“Already we face the largest obesity problem among first world-nations, after Germany, but a move like this will severely overtax our already spread thin health professional field.”
Government officials said they would push through an emergency obesity tax on fast food purchases to discourage increased business sales and also to increase funding to federally sponsored health care programs.
However, mixed opinions come from McDonald’s customers.
“I’d go there all the time if they had a buffet, --that way I can get more than two tiny little pickles on my burger,” said seven-year-old Matthew Pilly.
“Why should I have to make my own food at a higher price? ‘Have it your way’ to me is not having to do a damn thing to get my burger,” said Willy Dzietskie, 56.
Protestors have also begun an ad campaign fund to show movies like “Super-size Me” and “Fast Food Nation” on prime-time television slots to raise health awareness in America.
This story is a part of our annual April Fool’s issue. All names and events are used in a fictitious manner and are not meant to slander or harm the image of anyone.
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